Sometimes I feel so fucking lonely…

It’s my own fault but it doesn’t stop me from hating the world for it.

The thing is, I think everyone is pretty lonely. The thing is, everyone is pretty damn sad. We all have deep dark twisted feelings inside of us, every single one of us.

I think that is supposed to make me feel better, because I’m not alone in my aloneness. But it just makes me feel worse. Like there’s nothing to look for, no one to care.

Everyone has their own problems, no one wants to hear about mine. Everyone paints pictures of how sad their life is, how ‘depressed’ they are, how much ‘anxiety’ they have. What do they even mean anymore, if people are just going to throw those words around for fun now. Those words don’t even have meaning anymore, people sucked it all out.

My life isn’t even sad, I have amazing opportunities, a wonderful family, good things, but I don’t feel like a good thing. I feel so empty inside, I go to school and try not to care that I have no real friends, I try not to feel hurt when weeks pass that I don’t talk to my best friend in Japan, I try to move on when I go to bed after fighting with my parents.

This just brings back the point that none of this is irrelevant, everyone has bad points, all I can hope is that this is mine. This is a bad point, that means it has to get better. The loneliness will have to go away.

But…what do I know?